Much has happened...

So very sorry for Blog-silence (although some would say that could be a god-send!).  I now realise why I didn't blog immediately after the kidney removal operation and shall take a moment to self-indulge and explain why I left you all in the lurch like that.

I had every intention of writing about the op day at the time however, if honest, it all became too much.  I didn't want to.  I wasn't ready to.  I was simply to drained and tired and I wasn't even the one having the operation!!  I opened up Blogger several times, but couldn't bring myself to write down what was, as it turned out, quite an eventful day!  Read on to find out more!!

My amazing cousins, Hayley and Stevie, took our baby girl the night before the operation, with view to having a day out (on the day) and meant I didn't have to worry too much about her as she'd be amused all day.  We told her Daddy had to go back in hospital for "tests on his wee" and would be kept in overnight - she has accepted this as fact and we see no need to worry a 7 year old any further than that.

Rik's sister, Tania, and niece, Amy, along with eldest daughter, Jess, arrived the afternoon/evening before too.  Admittedly maybe a little too much red wine was consumed (by us, not Rik), but that actually meant we did get some sleep. 

A very early start to the hospital, this time Rik was second on the list.

Was a tad miffed when meeting the anesthetist, who appeared to be asking US why this operation was taking place...surely that's what the notes are for?  This may sound like I'm moaning, but the way he spoke to us seemed like he hadn't either been told anything or hadn't even bothered giving a cursory glance to the file, something one would hope would be something those involved with an operation would do? Maybe not...

Second "miff" of the day was meeting a NEW consultant, no explanation as to why it was someone different (and when faced with sudden change you often forget to ask why!).  He went through the operation details with some prompting from us.  Once again the lack of information coming TO us seemed limited however that makes me wonder if maybe we are just nosey and want more information than most care to have.

Rik practising for the old folks home

Bit of a wait and I receive a text from the MiL that she would be heading to the hospital.  I text back saying not to bother, and meet either at the house or the place we are having brunch...remember that I said this, it's important for me to be all smug about later in the day ;-)  Regardless she heads to the hospital and is there before Rik goes down for the operation.

Something I like and dislike in equal measures is this...whilst he goes in for operations, I wear his necklace that I bought him (funny story behind that purchase) and his rings (snigger).  Whilst I know these items are important to him and signify me and him, the fact I'm wearing them means he isn't...and that something is happening to him that I don't want to be happening (I want the treatment but wish there was no need for him to be having it IYSWIM?).  A thing that makes me happy is when I get to give them back.

Necklace, engagement & wedding rings

Time for Rik to be wheeled off, we all say our goodbyes.  Lots of piss taking has been happening and he asks me to stop...which is then immediately replaced with tears - there's a reason why I need the black humour, I would be crying too much otherwise (she types through stupidly welled up eyes).  I walk with him up to the OR, lots more kisses, he's wheeled through and I head back off to the lift where I promptly break down in tears - thankfully alone otherwise people would think I was a complete loon!

Pulling myself together before heading back to meet the other ladies - Rik possibly quite relieved to have escaped so many female family members at one time - only to be faced with another incident...

It turns out the MiL took a fall in the halls of the hospital, performed a Strictly Come Dancing move with Amy, and has hurt her ankle, to the point where she really couldn't walk on it without help.  There was only one thing for it, a trip to A&E for us!!!

We head down, get ushered through some doors - which seemed very strange as we hadn't actually registered her with anyone yet!  Chats with a nice male nurse, which included him having a bit of a look at the foot/ankle ("Ooo is that where you've hurt your foot?" says the nurse whilst pointing to her foot. "No," she replies, "that's my bunion!" - awkward!), before we head back out to get registered properly and wait to be seen.  Prelim checks and then to x-ray.

Amy, MiL & her cankle

Amy manages to stay in with her Nana whilst the doctor is talking about the x-ray results.  Tania, Jess and I move to be near the curtained cubicle to hear what is said, only to be scolded by a nurse for "listening in on a confidential conversation"...one that we were going to be told as soon as the curtain was pulled back...our sense of humour failed us for a few minutes.

As it turned out, the MiL has fractured her ankle, and ended up in a cast up to her knee and being discharged on crutches.  Can anyone say MUPPET!?!  We leave the hospital after a couple of hours and finally get brunch that has now turned into lunch.  The headache that has been creeping in is dislodged by painkillers, water and food.

After lunch we go back to the hospital and straight up to the ward, where Rik has been for the previous TWO HOURS - essentially he was out of the op BEFORE we had left A&E!  Poor love had been on the ward without phone or laptop wondering where the hell we were and concluding that we had obviously been in a car crash.

So preeeeetty

I'd blame the above photo on the drugs, but it's just him pissing about when I asked for a "nice smile" - I LOVE THAT, ladies and gentleman...I feel your jealousy!

After we've all had a visit and retold the story of the day to Rik, it came time for him to have a bought of chemo.  Unlike other procedures, this is injected directly into the bladder via the old man, held in there for an hour, then drained and flushed.  He managed 50 minutes before he needed it out.  Rik described it as "You know when you REALLY need to pee and you hold it and it hurts, but you have the option to pee yourself? Well it's like that except you can't pee yourself so it just hurts and hurts and hurts some more."  I can only imagine.

I visited again later in the day, met once again with cheeriness...

Nice way to greet your wife

...one is beginning to suspect he doesn't like having his photo taken...

He had to stay in over night, which did mean a little less sleep than I'd have liked, especially considering I was in the hospital for some tests the following day - something my body decided to rebel against, and therefore has been delayed until September.  He escaped, I mean, was released in the afternoon and I had my man back home, once again.  Worrying moment, however, when someone DID check him for post-kidney removal...erm...yeah that was SO last April... <raises eyebrow>

The last couple of weeks have been mostly rest for him.  He's had some bleeding first thing, and passed some clots and the like.  Seems he also got an infection, which was to be expected tbh.

We are now in the position of waiting once more.  We are waiting for a consultancy appointment, which will tell us more about what was removed and also the steps forward.

I have just had a week away as it was the Edinburgh Fringe (something I book up in January).  I was unsure as to whether to go, but Rik told me I should.  The week has been a welcome distraction (during shows) but everything was still on my mind the rest of the time, and most nights, whether out or back at our flat, I was lucky if I got to sleep before 0300. 

This was not aided by the call I got from Rik on the Monday telling me he'd ended up back in the hospital all day.  The bleeding he'd been having had worsened considerably, he went from A&E, to Minors to Majors to the ward.  Fluids and tests and anti-biotics later and he was allowed home - so once again I am in debt to Hayley for being there for him, when I couldn't. 

To self-indulge once again, this made me feel like I'd abandoned him...like I shouldn't have been up in Edinburgh.  Was I a bad wife for leaving him?  I missed him so much, and wanted either to be home or for him to be in Edinburgh.  Even now, despite having seen so many wonderful shows, I'm not convinced I made the right decision to go to EdFringe.  My duty lies at home.  I might've needed the therapy of the shows, to release pent up frustrations and worries through laughing, but just HOW selfish of me is THAT!?!  Doesn't matter how much I tell myself that he told me to go, and he told me to stay (yes I did just want to run home to be with him), I can't let go of the guilt I feel for not being at home when he needed me.  Sorry baby...I should've been home...