It suddenly became real...

On Tuesday 27th March we had the pre-assessment appointment.  As previously mentioned, we weren't really sure what it was for.

When the nurse stated "...and you know why you are here..." we replied "erm, no, not really.  We're not sure what this appointment is for, no-one has said."  We then find out that it's for the removal of the kidney.

Turns out that my husband is already booked in for his operation on Monday 16th April 2012...so within three weeks!  We haven't had any consultation about this other than throw away mentions of the removal.  Turns out the consultation appointment is booked in for the 27th June 2012...which is a very handy 10 weeks AFTER the operation...erm...something isn't quite right there!!!  We shall come back to that.

The nurse does the countless questions again, gives a bit of information that she has available (it is to be a laparoscopy - or to be more accurate, a laparoscopic radical nephrectomy - ie key hole surgery!), does the swabs, hands over vials and forms for blood, urine and and ECG, all of which take place before we leave the hospital.

We discuss with her the lack of consultation appointment BEFORE the operation, as well as not having had the actual results from the biopsy.  A number of calls around and she thinks she has it sorted and that someone will be in contact with a new appointment.

She hands over two booklets...both say the words KIDNEY CANCER on the cover...oh...that's the first time we've seen it written down...

...that made it real.

Before that it was something my husband was told post op, who then, in turn, told me.  But I hadn't been told by a doctor.  I hadn't seen it written down.  I hadn't seen the full results.  But now...now I had something someone who knew what they were talking about had selected to give to us...and it said that word...right there...bold as anything.

The next couple of hours was rushing around. School run, physio, Beavers and then me heading off to a quiz night meant it was all a bit of a haze.

I read a blog the other week, it had "things you don't get told when you are a carer of someone with cancer" post.  One of the points was "you will notice more cancer mentions and adverts" - that also started today.  Whilst waiting for my physio, I have to sit in a gym.  I had been there a couple of minutes when, very loudly, through the PA system blasts a cancer advert.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Later, when on the central line, I glanced over to the man reading a newspaper...and there was an advert for the Race for Life...more cancer.  Then I looked up and noticed we were at Chancery Lane...the only station on the Underground where you can make the word "cancer" from the letters without reusing (I am prepared to be proved wrong if there is another).  I changed to the northern line...and there, above the head of the chap opposite...Cancer Research advert. Cancer. Cancer cancer cancer cancer CANCER!!! Everywhere I looked.  I swear, it is a bloody good job I have a sense of humour!